Comments for Male Sexuality http://blog.transitionpower.com Sharing ideas, comments, suggestions, experiences around issues directly related to Male Sexuality Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:49:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Comment on Our Energy and Sexuality by Jose http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=67#comment-13 Jose Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:49:31 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=67#comment-13 Very beautifully written. In such a way that my physical response to the article was of an erotic kind, believe it or not. I was sexually aroused by the end of my reading. I had a boner, lol. Don't ask me why. Yes, absolutely: how important it is for anyone to accept themselves as they are and to love themselves unconditionally. That doesn't mean to just live as one pleases, seeking sexual pleasure irresponsibly. To love oneself means in my opinion to recognize your assets and defects and do your best to reach a balance in using them to your best life. It is often necessary to reject belief systems that were acquired in childhood and that make you stuck in fear and shame, but to forgive your parents (for they usually didn't know what they were doing) and also to apologize to them is also a large part of one's growth process. And of course, yes, breathing deeply helps a lot to enhance your self-awareness and self-esteem. Thank you, Ken, for your profound and heart-felt words. They are also full of love, if you see what I mean. Very beautifully written. In such a way that my physical response to the article was of an erotic kind, believe it or not. I was sexually aroused by the end of my reading. I had a boner, lol. Don’t ask me why. Yes, absolutely: how important it is for anyone to accept themselves as they are and to love themselves unconditionally. That doesn’t mean to just live as one pleases, seeking sexual pleasure irresponsibly. To love oneself means in my opinion to recognize your assets and defects and do your best to reach a balance in using them to your best life. It is often necessary to reject belief systems that were acquired in childhood and that make you stuck in fear and shame, but to forgive your parents (for they usually didn’t know what they were doing) and also to apologize to them is also a large part of one’s growth process. And of course, yes, breathing deeply helps a lot to enhance your self-awareness and self-esteem. Thank you, Ken, for your profound and heart-felt words. They are also full of love, if you see what I mean.

]]> Comment on Our Energy and Sexuality by felixbb http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=67#comment-12 felixbb Mon, 02 Apr 2012 03:11:21 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=67#comment-12 I love it, very deep, in my case, I find it hard to canalize my sexual energy, sometimes it takes over me and I make a lot of desitions based upon my sexual energy, I am lucky I am aware enough to realize when this happens, I would like to find a way to control or maybe diminish this energy and use more my other energies in order to achieve my goals faster and in a more focused manner. I love it, very deep, in my case, I find it hard to canalize my sexual energy, sometimes it takes over me and I make a lot of desitions based upon my sexual energy, I am lucky I am aware enough to realize when this happens, I would like to find a way to control or maybe diminish this energy and use more my other energies in order to achieve my goals faster and in a more focused manner.

]]> Comment on GAY SHAME/Shame among Gay Men by Ken Stofft, MA, CSB http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-11 Ken Stofft, MA, CSB Wed, 21 Mar 2012 01:06:31 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-11 Hi, Jose. I personally do not believe that monogamy is natural. There is a very helpful exploration into this issue, insightful and humorous, by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha in their book, "Sex at Dawn: How we mate, why we stray, and what it means for modern relationships". They have done such a superb job with this subject. I highly recommend it. Jealousy and possessiveness comes from insecurity and fear. The only way I know how to address these qualities in myself or another is to talk about it with someone I trust, to find out how to resolve them. Hi, Jose. I personally do not believe that monogamy is natural. There is a very helpful exploration into this issue, insightful and humorous, by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha in their book, “Sex at Dawn: How we mate, why we stray, and what it means for modern relationships”. They have done such a superb job with this subject. I highly recommend it. Jealousy and possessiveness comes from insecurity and fear. The only way I know how to address these qualities in myself or another is to talk about it with someone I trust, to find out how to resolve them.

]]> Comment on GAY SHAME/Shame among Gay Men by Jose http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-10 Jose Sun, 11 Mar 2012 15:10:46 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-10 "Next time around will you please write about cheating and exclusivity in male-to-male relationships? Is monogamy a healthy thing? How can you avoid jealousy and possessiveness and yet keep your main sex partnership?" “Next time around will you please write about cheating and exclusivity in male-to-male relationships?

Is monogamy a healthy thing? How can you avoid jealousy and possessiveness and yet keep your main sex partnership?”

]]> Comment on GAY SHAME/Shame among Gay Men by Jose http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-8 Jose Fri, 09 Mar 2012 18:03:55 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-8 Very good and truthful article. Sorry, but I couldn't help laughing when you mentioned Atlas Bodybuilding Program, because I was also totally into these things, even in a period of time, as early as I was eight or nine, when I had no idea what masturbation was all about. But looking at those pictures already made me hard with a mixture of envy and lust. I know I was gay very early on, but shame and guilt and the need to conform to societal and parental patterns forged a "straight" man out of me. I think, though I may be wrong, that nowadays there is more support for and acceptance of gays. Some may argue that it is only a cyclical thing, and things may turn sour again after some time. Yet, I have hopes that the future and possibly the near future will be easier and lighter for all kinds of sexuality, when it is finally understood that there is nothing wrong with sexuality, as it is simply a force within us leading to happiness and whole health, but it is the stupid ways we often deal with this force early on - repression - that makes it problematic. Parents, teachers nad mentors should know better. By the way, I love your work with breathing and I am sure it is highly effective not only for liberating your shame, anger, and guilt, but for general well-being and better self-esteem. Thank you very much, Ken. You are the best coach! Very good and truthful article. Sorry, but I couldn’t help laughing when you mentioned Atlas Bodybuilding Program, because I was also totally into these things, even in a period of time, as early as I was eight or nine, when I had no idea what masturbation was all about. But looking at those pictures already made me hard with a mixture of envy and lust. I know I was gay very early on, but shame and guilt and the need to conform to societal and parental patterns forged a “straight” man out of me. I think, though I may be wrong, that nowadays there is more support for and acceptance of gays. Some may argue that it is only a cyclical thing, and things may turn sour again after some time. Yet, I have hopes that the future and possibly the near future will be easier and lighter for all kinds of sexuality, when it is finally understood that there is nothing wrong with sexuality, as it is simply a force within us leading to happiness and whole health, but it is the stupid ways we often deal with this force early on – repression – that makes it problematic. Parents, teachers nad mentors should know better. By the way, I love your work with breathing and I am sure it is highly effective not only for liberating your shame, anger, and guilt, but for general well-being and better self-esteem. Thank you very much, Ken. You are the best coach!

]]> Comment on GAY SHAME/Shame among Gay Men by Ken Stofft, MA, CSB http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-7 Ken Stofft, MA, CSB Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:14:23 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-7 Go for it, Jon! I do like your last statement. With your permission I would state it as: "I can find joy in being authentically myself and I know someone special will find joy in being with me too!" For, Jon, it takes self-affirming, self-loving to attract another who is self-affirming, self-loving. I for one want to surround myself with such men! We all have our self-doubting moments, but these can be fleeting ones, right?! And, after all, there is never an end to self-growth and self-appreciation. Change is inevitable no matter how old we are and will become. Go for it, Jon! I do like your last statement. With your permission I would state it as:
“I can find joy in being authentically myself and I know someone special will find joy in being with me too!” For, Jon, it takes self-affirming, self-loving to attract another who is self-affirming, self-loving. I for one want to surround myself with such men! We all have our self-doubting moments, but these can be fleeting ones, right?! And, after all, there is never an end to self-growth and self-appreciation. Change is inevitable no matter how old we are and will become.

]]> Comment on GAY SHAME/Shame among Gay Men by SleckeJ http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-6 SleckeJ Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:04:52 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=61#comment-6 Hey I just discovered your blog tonight. I'm in my early twenties, almost a year out of school. Something I've been trying to tackle head on is how I deal with society's expectations of me as a man, as well as a gay man. I find I'm very tired and exhausted of measuring up to that expectation, as it doesn't just encompass my sexuality, but my interests and passions as well. While I have always surrounded myself with trustworthy friends who love me and all my quirks, and my family is very loving and supportive, I still search for a man that I can be completely vulnerable with, and to fall in love with. Which is why I find this blog so helpful as it helps me affirm what I already probably knew on some level. From here on out, however, I will make a more conscience effort to be authentically myself and to not apologize (whether in words or body language) for the way I am. If I can find joy in being authentically myself I think perhaps someone special will find joy in being with me too. Thank you and I will continue reading! Best, Jon Hey I just discovered your blog tonight. I’m in my early twenties, almost a year out of school. Something I’ve been trying to tackle head on is how I deal with society’s expectations of me as a man, as well as a gay man. I find I’m very tired and exhausted of measuring up to that expectation, as it doesn’t just encompass my sexuality, but my interests and passions as well.

While I have always surrounded myself with trustworthy friends who love me and all my quirks, and my family is very loving and supportive, I still search for a man that I can be completely vulnerable with, and to fall in love with. Which is why I find this blog so helpful as it helps me affirm what I already probably knew on some level. From here on out, however, I will make a more conscience effort to be authentically myself and to not apologize (whether in words or body language) for the way I am. If I can find joy in being authentically myself I think perhaps someone special will find joy in being with me too.

Thank you and I will continue reading!

Best,
Jon

]]> Comment on BDSM and Male Sexuality by bonnanthony http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=54#comment-5 bonnanthony Tue, 10 Jan 2012 01:55:01 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=54#comment-5 I like your thoughts here. You make it seem so opening and revelatory. I hadn't thought of it exactly like that. Thanks. I like your thoughts here. You make it seem so opening and revelatory. I hadn’t thought of it exactly like that. Thanks.

]]> Comment on The Purpose of this Blog by felixbb http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=15#comment-4 felixbb Fri, 04 Nov 2011 02:04:01 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=15#comment-4 Very interesting thoughts, how many times we forget about ourselves. I was wondering how can we realize that we have reach the level were we are not fearful of intimacy, or how to know if another person is not fearful. Very interesting thoughts, how many times we forget about ourselves. I was wondering how can we realize that we have reach the level were we are not fearful of intimacy, or how to know if another person is not fearful.

]]> Comment on The Purpose of this Blog by tantricmaster http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=15#comment-3 tantricmaster Wed, 26 Oct 2011 03:27:18 +0000 http://blog.transitionpower.com/?p=15#comment-3 I like that blondbiker well thought out and my feeling is your right as a gay man were finding it more easy to share our sexuality with other men and women to be truely open to our real nature is an experience we must live to be fully alive. TantricMaster.. I like that blondbiker well thought out and my feeling is your right as a gay man were finding it more easy to share our sexuality with other men and women to be truely open to our real nature is an experience we must live to be fully alive. TantricMaster..

]]>